This is one point I would like to make to caregivers.

In the time of rehabilitation and the ongoing years, I ask that they take the middle ground between denial and constant rescue.

My relatives were always in denial and still to this day are. This allowed me to grow past many expectations, but until recently (19 years post-injury) I did not know why I was treated so differently by everyone. By denying my deficits, I am left with being very negative. The world is not nearly as cruel as I am left to see it. I have asked why? and never received an answer.

As a peer counselor, I see other survivors whose families always rescue them. This is in my opinion a very selfish act. As survivors we need to learn to figuratively walk on our own. If we are not allowed to try and fail occasionally what will happen when you (the caregiver) are gone; you are not going to be around for ever.

I ask that all family members take a position somewhere in the middle of these two opposites. Please be there when we ask for a hand but don't make us take your hand when we are trying to walk on our own. ~Dawn Schneider

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